I warped a little kid last night, possibly for life. As many of you know, I don't have kids. I have dogs. I'm great with dogs. Kids, not so much.
Our good friend, Jason, came over last night to help Mitch work out some pesky conflicts between our desk top computer and the wireless Internet service. Jason is the company's techie genius and an excellent person to know when modern technology refuses to be cooperative. Jason's wife had a function to attend, so he brought his little girl along - she's not quite 3. I was going to watch her while they worked. I was great with that! After all, I have 3 nephews and a niece... but they are all teenagers now.
So I forgot that little kids go through stages, just like puppies. This little angel is going through that phase where everything scares her. She liked me well enough, but there was nothing on cable except football, CSI re-runs, Sasquatch Hunters, Scarface, wrestling and several 9-11 specials. Even the Weather Channel let me down; they were re-living Katrina. Note to Animal Planet: don't run the horrific abused animal rescues during early prime time!
We have some Disney movies, so she looked through the stack and chose one she hadn't seen before - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Big mistake. That story opens with the Evil Queen talking to the ominous Mirror Mirror On The Wall. Bethany gasped at the sight of them and covered her eyes with her tiny hands. She came unhinged when the Woodsman pulled a knife on Snow White, intent on cutting out her heart. By the time the Dwarfs finally showed up she was too far gone to care.
So I raided my library and brought out a dozen picture books, mostly horses. She loved them. Then we got to the newest book in my kid collection: The Encyclopedia of Prehistoric Dinosaurs by Robert Sabuda & Matthew Reinhart. If you haven't seen it, it's an ornate pop-up book filled with surprises on every page. When Bethany opened the book, the T-Rex leaped off the page at her, its gaping mouth filled with menacing paper teeth. I don't need to tell you what her reaction was.
I plied her with food. I offered sliced bananas to go with her orange juice, but she wanted Bar B Q potato chips and I wasn't about to upset her anymore, so I caved. She got the chips. (I hope she didn't throw up last night.)
I sent her home with 3 stuffed animals and some books, hoping they'd erase all the horrors she encountered at my house. The good news: our technical glitch is history... but we'll have to wait and see how Bethany turns out. I hope I don't have to pay for therapy sessions when she's a teen.