Thursday Thirteen - Week 15

The Christmas Season is barely one week old, and I already have a complaint.  There are literally thousands of Christmas songs out there, yet our local radio stations hoist the same old playlist on us year after year.  This week, I'm listing 13 songs I never want to hear again, in the hope that someone at Clear Channel will buy some new CDs!  Note:  I did not include Novelty Songs, 'cause we all get tired of those after we've heard them twice.

13 Christmas Songs I Never Want To Hear Again

1.  My Favorite Things by Rod Stewart.  This is just wrong.  Rod Stewart bears no resemblance to Julie Andrews.

2.  Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree by Jessica Simpson.  Why is this girl still around?  She can't sing, act or talk, yet she's everywhere!  Go away... and take your sister with you!

3.  Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon.  The most pathetic holiday tune ever penned.  Guaranteed to induce severe depression.  Makes me want to fill my pockets with heavy rocks and wade into the river...

4.  I Wonder As I Wander by anybody.  Just plain odd.  Gives my a tiny chest pain every time I hear it.

5.  The Gift by Aselin Debison.  Can't sing. Can't sing. Can't sing.

6.  The Christmas Shoes by Newsong.  I detest this wretched song!  Emotional manipulation on an unparalled scale.  Whoever wrote this convoluted piece of Christmas drivel should be brought to the town square and flogged!  There, I feel better now.

7.  Santa Baby by Madonna.  Granted, it's a sleazy little tune, but Eartha Kitt did it with style.  No need for Madonna to do it over, but she did... and it turned out like most of Madonna's other songs... cheap and trashy.

8.  It's The Holiday Season by Andy Williams.  This one's just awkward. Awkward lyrics, awkward score... I feel sorry for Andy every time I hear him lurching through it.

9.  Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney.  Was he trying to write a worst Christmas song than John?  What was he thinking?  Lame!

10.  Winter Wonderland by Eurythmics.  I love Annie Lennox, but this seems a very bad match of song and artist.  What's next?  Charlotte Church sings Missionary Man?

11.  Where Are You Christmas? by Faith Hill.  Shoot me.  Shoot me now.

12.  Let There Be Peace On Earth by anybody. I start glancing at my watch the second this one starts.  It's like a bad recital tune; can't wait 'til it's over!

13.  Silent Night by Kenny G.  Okay, actually ALL of Kenny G's Christmas music.  He plays FLAT!  Have you ever noticed?

If I missed a Christmas song YOU never want to hear again, let me know!

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Comments

[Susan Helene Gottfried]

Wow. I've actually never heard of some of those songs.

Then again, this time of year, I run screaming from the radio and take refuge in my own music. I'm not big on Christmas tunes. :(

[Jennfactor]

I adore you, DK Raymer!
This list made me laugh out loud, and I couldn't agree with you more. On which one, you ask? On ALL of it! (okay, there are a couple I haven't heard, but you are so dead on with the rest, I'll trust your judgement!)
Happy TT!

[Anonymous Teacher]

One of the local radio stations plays this stupid remake of the "12 Days of Christmas" with all those obnoxious things that happen around the holidays...irritates me everytime I hear it.

I'm the spreader of Christmas cheer otherwise...love all those cheesey Christmas tunes.

[Laughing Muse]

I'm glad I haven't heard any of these songs. Otherwise, I'd have them stuck in my head...

[Caryle]

I'm laughing out loud, here. :) I agree with you on almost all of these, especially Kenny G. Ack!

[ChupieandJsmama]

Love your list. Very funny and very true. Except maybe Kenny G. One or two songs by Kenny G in a Christmas season is exceptable. Happy Thursday:)

[Sandy]

Hee hee, ha ha, hoo hoo hoo.....I so agree with you Sis. It was even better talking to you over the Phone while reading it. Thank you for the giggle. Love you
Sandy

[Laquet]

Lol!!!! Excellent list and I agree wholeheartedly :o)

[ancsweetnsassygal]

I agree with you on most of this, especially the Madonna and Jessica Simpson part. I do have to disagree on the Kenny G, but otherwise dead on. Visit my Thursday Thirteen of my favorite Christmas songs at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-a4SO9mwwdaU7Mx0y0sc41xICV60MtPeDvA--?cq=1

Have a Merry Christmas!

[Janene]

I have only 1 song I skip anytime I hear it on the radio or on a CD ~ Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. What a stupid, stupid song! I'm so surprised it stuck...Did you know that they made an animated movie from the song about a Grandma that gets "kidnapped" by Santa...or something like that. UGH!

Very unique list, though. A different spin on a holiday list!

[Melessa]

I thought I was the only one who couldn't stand that darn shoe song. Good to know I'm not alone.

[Courtney]

My thoughts were running parallel to Janene's, except I was going to "sing" it... "Oh, grandma got ran over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas Eve..."

Sorry, couldn't resist! ;)

[Kelli]

Okay...I actually like some of the songs, but I agree with you on #11! Happy TT!

[she]

While I'm familiar with the bulk of the songs you listed, I've never heard most of the versions described. All of a sudden I'm feeling very thankful that I haven't heard a single Christmas song yet this season.

[Karla~Looking Towards Heaven]

I actually like the Paul McCartney one (I think it is only because I grew up with it, so it's nostalgia) and the Eurythmics version. (since she's an alto, it's one of the few version I can sing of it)

Some of these I'd never heard...

One to add: Last Christmas (I gave you my heart) ANY version BLECK!!!!!

Blessings,
Karla

[Deanna]

YOU CRACK ME UP!!!
I've never been a big fan of Madonna singing Christmas Carols - Cindy Lauper either ...or Bruce Springsteen now that I think about it...There's jus something wrong about that!
I loved your list!

[KarenW]

A Christian station plays one every year with the words, "some people see him". It describes the different ways people see the Christ child - white, black, asian. Gets on my nerves every time. Sorry I don't know the title.
Great list! I have to admit that I like Where are you Christmas. My dd is learning it on the piano. It may get old before Christmas!

[Barbara H.]

LOL! I haven't heard many of those. I do like "I wonder as I wander," but don't know that I'd like it on the radio.

I used to like the one I think is called "Sleigh Bells" -- "Oh it's lovely weather for a slweigh ride together with you..." -- but I've just heard it too often. It doesn't hold the same appeal for me that it once did.

I also love "Oh Holy Night" -- about once a year at church -- but it loses its appeal when it is overdone or not sung well.

[N. Mallory]

Well, I'll agree with you on everything but 3 & 9. I just like them.

I particularly hate that Christmas Shoes song. By far that is the most depressing Christmas song of all time. I change the station the moment it comes on.

I absolutely love Christmas and Christmas music, but I highly resent that my Country and Oldies stations started playing Christmas 24/7 the day after Thanksgiving. For me it's NPR and my iPod mini in the car from now until the New Year.

[Judy Callarman]

Okay, here's one: That obnoxious chipmunk song. I'm not going to try hard to remember it exactly, or it might lodge itself in my brain for hours!

[beth]

What a great list! I can agree with every one you wrote! lol

[Mike]

An interesting list. I don't think I've heard several of them, but I don't think I want to now lol. Happy TT.

[Cheryl]

I totally agree with you. These artists don't have what it takes to bring that special something to Christmas music.

[Cindy Swanson]

Wow, DK...I TOTALLY agree with you on most of those choices. "Santa Baby" by ANYONE is usually awful, but especially by Madonna. Bleeccchhh.

My TT is up, by the way! Also has to do with Christmas songs...

[el-e-e]

AMEN AMEN AMEN!! Especially the Christmas Shoes, and Lennon and McCartney. *Shudder* Can I add Martina McBride (whom I normally like) singing "O Holy Night"?? DI-VAAAIIIINNNE is how it sounds when she shouts it.

ARGH!

Perfect list. Love. Mwah. You're my favorite. :)